My family and I had the fortunate opportunity to visit Hanuman Maui, Ram Dass’s home, while we were passing through Maui during our trip to Hawaii. We spent the afternoon there, and it was incredibly moving for each of us in our own way. It was a beautiful afternoon—blue skies with large, puffy clouds, a gentle breeze, a view of the ocean, and plenty of sunshine.

When we turned down the long driveway, we knew we had arrived when we heard chanting coming from the Hanuman mandir. We parked, and Heather and I went right in, sitting down to chant with them. One of the staff members (Travis) was leading the Hanuman Chalisa and I wholeheartedly enjoyed singing right along. Heather eventually left me to enjoy it and joined Lammer and Hanley to explore the grounds and the house on their own. Each altar was carefully decorated with thoughtfully placed items and images. The sounds of our voices and the harmonium vibrated back to us in that tiny mandir.

Travis then walked me around the grounds—through the Loving Awareness Garden, into the (gorgeous!) guest houses, and over to the pool. I teared up there, knowing how

 much Ram Dass took joy in his daily dip via his chair. I went right to that chair and grasped the handles where his hands had rested. The pool was surrounded by lush green plants and exotic flowers. I understood why it was his happy place.

I continued walking around the yard with sweet Leela, the dog (who was there when Ram Dass was still in his body). Gorgeous trees and bushes were perfectly placed everywhere. I could hear Lammer and the kids talking and laughing with the staff as they freely explored the inside of the house. From a window, Heather called down to me, insisting I come inside to see.

As soon as I stepped into the house, it felt rich with life, energy, comfort, and warmth. Macarena, another staff member, was busy in the kitchen cooking, and the place smelled amazing. I introduced myself to Dassima, Ram Dass’s beloved friend and caretaker for over 25 years. It was a delight to meet her and be in her presence. Throughout the house, mo matter where you looked, there was something interesting and beautiful to see—Maharaj-ji was everywhere. Hanuman too. There were devotional images, Sanskrit calligraphy of “Ram,” crystals, stones, fresh flowers with huge leaves, breathtaking artwork, and so many pictures of Ram Dass with friends, family, musicians, and celebrities. He had many bookshelves lined with books, as you’d imagine a former Harvard professor would. They were neatly organized, all of them so worn, very read, very loved.

Heather, calling me in from inside Ram Dass’s living room.

Lammer came down the steps from upstairs wiping his eyes. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that, something hit me!” he said, pointing to the center of his chest. He motioned for me to go up into Ram Dass’s room, insisting I experience it. Travis encouraged me too, in a very serious, gentle tone, saying I should do it alone first—which I really appreciated. Heather called from the stairs, waving for me to come up because I was “going to feel something!”

Although Heather was by my side during this next experience, she stayed quiet, allowing me to take it all in. She was simply present—how very Ram Dass of her! 

When I slowly walked up to the entrance of his room and stood in the doorway, a sigh of awe came out of me. I sighed again, this time it took my breath away as I noticed his chair in the far right corner, facing the window and the breathtaking view he spoke about so often. After taking in the warmth and stillness of the room—the beautifully decorated tucket with fresh flowers—I walked right to his chair. I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I knew it would be special, and it was. A hand-painted portrait on canvas of his smiling face with him in a bright blue shirt sat on the chair. The background of the portrait matched the blanket draped across the back of the chair – it was a painting of him, sitting in that chair. I fell to my knees and bowed down. Tears of happiness, gratitude, and a feeling of wholeness fell from my eyes and it felt like they were pouring out of my heart.

The large blanket of Maharaj-ji’s face blowing in the breeze.

I carefuly let myself explore the room. I turned to take in the view he so adored—the blue sky, the Pacific Ocean off in the distance, and a bird’s-eye view of the lush grounds and the pool. More weathered books, his altar to Maharaj-ji, striking artwork, and countless photographs filled the space. A huge blanket of Maharaj-ji’s face hung in the back, moving softly in the breeze. Behind it was his bedroom that I just peeked in at but didn’t enter.

Hanley arrived at that moment and pointed with a smile to a small but gorgeous altar at eye level on the wall outside the bedroom door. It held two images of Jesus in a meditative position, with an angel, a chime, and an image of Lord Ram overhead. I asked Heather what she felt when she originally came into his space. She placed her hand on her heart and said, “When I walked in and looked around, my heart started a little bit pumping.”

I walked downstairs to share my awe with everyone. They all understood! Dassima asked to take me back upstairs to share a few stories. 

The view from his window of the ocean, his lush yard, his pool, and of Lammer and Hanley!

She stood with me at the view, saying how much he loved to watch the blue sky and the clouds drifting by, like thoughts. She said he loved the sound of raindrops on the traveler’s palms, so the staff had planted several trees outside his window for him to enjoy. She took me into his bedroom and described the morning routine they shared for all those years. There was a sweating glass of water at his bedside table, because she still brings it up each morning as she used to.

 She also told me about his last day and final moments on December 22, 2019. She said there were five or six of them with him that morning. He had requested to be on little to no medication so he could be fully present for his transition. How beautiful, that made me smile and cry at the same time. They were simply there, holding space. His favorite portrait of Maharaj-ji’s face hung high above his bed—I’m sure it brought him comfort every day and especially in those final moments.

I continued to wander freely around the house, taking everything in. By then, the kids were outside playing under the mango tree, near one of the Hanuman statues. We all said our goodbyes and gave such thanks to the kind, welcoming staff. I dropped a bag of donations in the kitchen and signed the guestbook. Although I wrote whatever came to my heart in that moment, I don’t remember exactly what I said now. Lammer and the kids forgot to sign it, HA!

Every part of being on those grounds was emotional. Walking barefoot on the same floor he had, looking around at all the things he turned his gaze to, holding the railings he held—it was all so special. Like I mentioned, Maharaj-ji was always there, smiling back at you, wherever you looked. It was so comforting.

We slowly made our way to the front steps of the house where our shoes were waiting. By that point, all of us felt the specialness of it all. We knew we had just experienced something profound – something our hearts would never forget.