“Hurry up, we’re going to be late!” If someone put a camera in our dining room, probably every morning before April of 2010 when I created The Pressure-Free Method, I said these words. And every morning, without me knowing it, we all triggered the stress response. This photo from 1999 of me (6 weeks pregnant) with our two oldest, Ned and Hugh, shows us all not really wanting to go to school or work! Ned is wringing his hands, Hugh has a funny smile, and I really just want more summer vacation!!

Whether you have school-aged children or not, you may feel some anxiety this month because of a pattern you built during your years going to school. Using the framework of Pressure-Free: Targets, Triggers, Tools, here are some ideas.

Targets. What are you aiming for:

• Reduce stress and anxiety for a smooth transition back to school.
• Prevent the stress response in the first hours of the morning so that everyone goes to school and work with better cognitive functioning.
• Create systems and routines that enhance our lives.

Triggers. Notice what makes you or anyone else feel annoyed, angry, anxious, afraid, or ashamed like:

• Worrying about friendships and social anxiety.
• Feeling like we’re going to be late.
• Messes around the house.
• The unexpected problem.
• Not sure what to wear.
• Hair!
• Performance anxiety. Test anxiety.

Tools. Reduce Stressors, Interrupt the Stress Response in the ten seconds you first feel any tension:

• Create a morning and evening routine. Have your child list out all the things they need to do and then have them figure out their best order. And have them do as many of the things themselves as possible.(All three of our sons had a different order.)
• Zip Your Lips! Catch yourself about to tell people to hurry, or complain. Watch for anything that would cause a family member to trigger the stress response.
• Lead by example. Prepare things at night and/or get up in plenty of time to easily execute the morning.
• Smile! Nurture and guide with joy!